A current topic, how this could be possible from a different perspective, from the point of view and attitude of the CSF...

Today I "stumbled" across an article in which tips are given on how to increase emotional intelligence. I read that empathy is important. And that I should increasingly understand the feelings of others. In a nutshell, the following sentence is given as an illustration: "This is the difference between 'I understand how you feel - that's how I felt when I was fired' and 'I can see that you were confused because your boss didn't even give you a warning about your behaviour'.

With the GRP in mind, more precision and detail is important to me.

Empathy as a word, taken for the full presence on what is alive in a person at the moment, alive in feelings and needs. Whether this person is me (=self-empathy) or someone else.

So recognising, naming and appreciating the feelings is important - this also happens in the example above. At the same time, it is important to me that the responsibilities remain intact. That means: each person is responsible for his or her own feelings. In the above example, the feeling (irritation) is associated with a supposed cause on the outside (boss), and this is assigned a condemnation and blame (not even...). In the consciousness of NVC, I do not make anyone small and I do not make anyone big. The example sentence is therefore different, for example: "Could it be that you are confused right now and you would like to have constant exchange and transparency?

It also expresses that I ask - who am I that I can tell my counterpart how he is and why... I would immediately put myself above my counterpart, something that I reproach the boss for, I would do myself.

Living NVC from the stance is therefore much more than just empathy theory - it is connecting! Even if the boss were standing next to it - in the example from the CSF attitude he would probably still be there.

How would that have gone in the first example?

Link to the article mentioned